Well it was a metaphorical mud puddle, but it was still a mud puddle.

I haven't done any more of the C25K since the Friday before Labor Day...yeah that's almost 3 weeks ago for you smarties out there. I did manage to go for a walk with the hubs the Tuesday after labor day, but other then that there has been no physical exertion done by this girl. Given I was out of town for a wedding one long weekend and had the trip planned for this weekend, that didn't excuse the cookies I started nibbling on or the extra helping of potatoes I was having at dinner. I fully admit....I haven't made the best choices in the food department lately and I believe that is what actually toppled me into the mud puddle.

I traveled to Toledo this weekend to see a dear friend. She was in the state for a family wedding, so we made plans to meet up. We talk via IM at least once everyday, even if it's just to say hello or discuss what's for lunch. We are both trying to lose a few pounds, so these little daily chats have proven to be so encouraging and often saves us from temptations like the vending machine or the local dining establishment at lunchtime. To have someone else wonder how many calories they are eating or burning reassures me that I'm not the only one who struggles with their weight in some way.

So here's how she helped me to lift myself out of the mud puddle.

My frien is a few inches taller then me and weighs just a touch bit more then me, but looking at us both, I felt like I was the heavier one when we stood beside each other. She is way more muscular and toned then I am, honestly I was like...there's no way you need to lose X lbs! And at the same time, I need to lose XX lbs. Then that instantly made me feel like, oh girl you need to get back on the exercising and tone that jiggle up!

That 3 hour ride back home gave me a bit of time to re-evaluate how I got stuck in that mud puddle and how the hell I was going to get out of it. Now I know every body's body holds weight differently and we all have something we don't like about ourselves. But seeing my friend who from the outside looks like she is pretty close to where she should be but inside feels like she's not quite there yet, made me realize that we have to be happy with how we feel on the inside about how we look on the outside. It also was a smack in the face and made me ask myself if I am so unhappy with how I look on the outside, what is that doing to my insides and self-esteem?

Disappointment from falling down and not getting myself back on track has made me feel bad...like a failure. And I don't like feeling bad. I'm a natural worrier...so by doing something that I shouldn't be doing that makes me feel bad as a result, even though I can control it...is just plain dumb. So starting today...my weight and eating is something that I am back in control of.

I WANT TO FEEL BETTER...LOOKING BETTER IS JUST A NICE SIDE-EFFECT!

We have to do it for ourselves and not for anyone else. You make your finish line based on how you feel about where you are. It may not be what works for anyone else, and some people may think its not enough or is too much, but as long as it works for you and will get you closer to where you want to be...where you think you will feel your best. And that's ok. Just don't give up. I am not giving up on myself...there is too much at risk and too much that I want to do with my life and my family, and I am not willing to stand aside and let another day pass me by while I am unhappy with my actions.

So thank you sweet friend L, your support even if you didn't realize you were giving it has helped me out of the mud and back on the road to the finish line!