Today is my birthday….it has been a tough year filled with laughter and tears. I wanted to pick a few things that have been stamped into my passport of life over the last 12 months

LOWS

1) Losing my mother. This by far was the hardest thing that I had to deal with this last year. She was taken unexpectedly and I feel like I never had the chance to fully be the wonderful daughter I could have been. Our time was cut short, and it’s only now that she is gone that I find myself really missing those daily phone calls. She always called me on my birthday and sang happy birthday to me…I will miss that. I won’t get that call this year and it’s gonna be hard not to cry every time my cell phone rings today.

2) Worrying about Grandma. There are several areas of concern when talking about Grandma. When my mom passed, my grandma couldn’t afford to stay in the house she and my mom shared for the last 5 years. So an aunt and uncle generously found a small house with a fenced yard for her dog that she would be able to “rent” from them. It’s not in the best neighborhood and I worry about her being complacent and leaving her doors unlocked or falling down the basement stairs. I also have been really worried about her health, she has had to have 4 stints put in over the last year and has had more and more trouble controlling her diabetes. I talk to her everyday and always try to make sure she’s eating enough and resting, but I hope it doesn’t come across as nagging. I’m just concerned.

3) The economy. It sucks to have to worry again about possibly losing my job and trying to find another when nobody is buying anything to create demand out there. Seems like a lot of people are in this boat and if they aren’t then they are crazy if you ask me. I try not to worry, but that’s like telling someone with a twitch not to twitch…they can’t help it…it just happens!

HIGHS

1) As of this morning I have lost 41.4 lbs since my last birthday. That’s over 165 sticks of butter, more than 8-5lb barbells and the equivalent of a 1st grader gone from the scales! I still have a ways to go to reach my final goal where I want to maintain, but I am proud to be able to say I lost 40 lbs in the last year! That’s something to be proud of.

2) Getting a “promotion” at work. I am glad to say that I was promoted to the supervisor position this year! So thankful that I am being recognized for the contributions and skill I bring to the table. I love my job (most of the time) and am thankful that I have it and am constantly being challenged with new things.

3) Having a happy and healthy husband and dog at home. Those two, Gresh and Emma, are my heart and are the reason that I get up every morning and do what I do. While I know sometimes I’m not the best wife and mother, and can tend to be a little naggy, I hope that they know that I think of them all the time and just want to give them the most out of life that I can. There is so much we want to do and places we want to go, but with what we have we manage to have a great time most of the time. Home is where the heart is and that has never rung truer then it has this last year. I am blessed to have a husband that rubs my back 99% of the time when I ask him to, that always comes and kills the spider when I can’t reach it and that is waiting for me when I come home with a hug. He is my best friend and I can’t imagine my life without him. Emma is the sweetest dog, and I challenge anyone on this, in the world. She always makes me feel better and is always excited to see me. She knows when I’m having a rough day and will lick the tears away. She is my child and I pray that we have many more good years together!

I have a wonderful network of beautiful people in my life that I call friends. People that send me a random card or text or lend me their camera or stand mixer when I needed one. Friends that ask you to be a part of the most special day of their lives, and ones that always give you big hugs after not seeing them for a month or so. Friends that I have grown apart from over the past year, but are never far from my mind or heart throughout the day and that seems like time hasn’t gone by when we do see each other again. Friends that call and just want to hang out and watch football or grab a drink because it’s a day that ends in “Y”.

My one wish for the next year is to learn to relax and not stress about what I can’t predict or change. To enjoy the day and every breathe that I take instead of worrying about how many I have left. To make a decision about whether or not I think I will be a great mother and if I want to spread my seed and try to have a baby (if my seeds haven’t withered up because I’m getting so old). I hope to enjoy and spend more time with all of those people in my life that bless me with their love and support more than I ever have and thank them for including me as special part of their life. I also hope to reach my weight loss goal and start running…yeah I know big goals! But if I can make it thru this last year then I can do anything!!!