My focus has been on losing inches and pound for the last few months, but this week I have been faced with loss of another kind. Death is hard enough to deal with when you can be prepared for it, if someone is sick or has lived a long life. But being thrown into the situation of losing someone and there is no explanation or good reason leaves so many questions unanswered. Why? What could I have done? Did I tell them everything that I needed to?

Last week brought news of a man that my husband knew that he had grown up with, had drove to West Virgina and took his own life by by jumping off the New Gorge bridge. He was 35 years old. I had only met him once so while it was a sad situation, it didn't directly impact me but it made me sad for his 10 year old son and parents he left behind.

I then found out on Tuesday that a guy we went to high school with that had hung out with us at parties and was such a good guy and friend to so many people had passed away. He had joined the Marines after high school and had been living in Delaware and was living life with a thirst for fun and friendship. Still not knowing what exactly had happened to Marshal, it looks like he might have taken his own life. He was 30 years old and was engaged to be married.

The hardest news of the week came on Tuesday as well, actually earlier in the day before I found out about Marshal. I got a call from my husband who broke the news that our good friend's father had decided to end his life the previous day. He had been battling depression and unfortunately the disease took his life. My dear friend and her sister had lost one of the largest influences in their life and the man who helped them grow into the women they had become. While their parents had divorced decades ago, they remained close with both parents and their new spouses and he played a huge part of their lives to the very end. He was 55 years old.

While I can't imagine ever making the decision to end my life, I can't judge those that succomb to that. I can only feel sadness for those they left behind and for the many memories that will never be made. Depression is a sickness and it is frightening to think that something that strong can take over your entire thought process and lead you to do something that you normally wouldn't do. I am sorry that they felt there was no other way to cope with whatever they were fighting. You can be getting help and have the love and support of famliy and friends...but sometimes that is not enough to make it go away.

While holding my friend in my arms as she wept for the loss of her beloved father, I not only shed tears for the man who had left us so unexpectedly and the smile and laugh that will never be seen again, I shed tears for my friend. It makes me sad that she will not be able to talk to her dad when she wants to share something with him anymore. He will not be there for the family Ohio State versus Michigan football games they normally watch together every year. Her sister will not have her dad to walk her down the isle when she gets married next summer.

I just can hug her as hard as I can and attempt to give her some of my strength as she begins to live the next part of her life without her father. I can move forward in my own life by making sure that those in my life know how much I love them and how much they mean to me. I have been painfully reminded this week that you really never know when the last time you will see someone may be, so be sure to appreciate every moment you have with your friends and family.